just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
