i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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