You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
