I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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