My cat gives me a boner
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
