Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
last night I used snow as a chaser
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
