when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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