We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
