I cannot find my penis.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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