i don't like sucking hair
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize