Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
