yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
