If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
