Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Randomize
