Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
BRING THE BAGELS
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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