i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
