I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
