I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I am available for nakedness
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
