i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize