I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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