He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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