Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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