i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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