you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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