It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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