so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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