dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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