The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
