school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
whose parrot is this?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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