we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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