never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
