I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
