my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
