I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize