giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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