you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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