You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
