I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
