i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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