I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
he thought i was a dude.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
