I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm sobbing to NWA
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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