I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
