I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
