The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
you never un-have a 4some
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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