maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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