Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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