That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Randomize
