FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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