it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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