The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
