I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
