Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
