p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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