I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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