ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
