Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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