Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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