worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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