you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
