The maid of honor just puked.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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