hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
