i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize